Stereotypes and the Struggle to Know How to Act

I don’t know how to act. I feel like I’m constantly second-guessing myself, unsure of when it’s okay to open up or when I’m just being "too much." Am I being real about my struggles or am I just attention-seeking? I can’t figure out what’s the “right” way to express myself, or if there even is one.

Some days, I feel like I have to hide everything. When I’m sad, when I feel overwhelmed, or when my anxiety is high, I hesitate to share. Am I sharing it because I need support, or am I sharing it to make people feel sorry for me? Is it a cry for help, or is it just me looking for attention? I don’t know anymore. I don’t even know how to gauge what’s too much and what’s too little.

Then there are the days when I want to share the good moments—the moments when I feel okay, when I’m having a laugh, when I’m feeling strong. But then I wonder, "Will people think that things aren’t as hard as they are?" Will they see me having a good day and think that everything is fine, that I don’t need help, or that I’m just fine and dandy? Do I seem like a hypocrite for sharing a smile when inside I feel like I’m barely holding it together? It’s exhausting trying to figure out how to manage the perception of others while navigating my own emotional world.

And what about the moments when I feel completely stuck? Do I act “normal” or do I let people know what I’m really going through? What if I share and it’s seen as “too much,” or worse, “dramatic”? It’s like I’m constantly walking a tightrope between being genuine and trying not to be a burden. Is being honest seen as being needy? Or is it seen as a sign of strength? I have no clue.

I’ve noticed that society has this expectation that if you’re mentally ill, you should behave a certain way. It’s almost like there’s a “proper” way to suffer, a way that is acceptable for others to understand. But what if that’s not how it works for me? What if, for me, mental health struggles are hidden beneath a surface that looks okay, but inside is an entirely different story?

It’s frustrating to feel like I have to put on a mask, to try to keep it all together even when I don’t know how. I’ve been conditioned to think that if I don’t show people I’m doing well, then I’m somehow failing. But if I show them the truth of how I’m feeling, it feels like there’s this judgment, like maybe I’m too broken, too much, or just too exhausting to deal with.

There are days when I feel like I just want to scream at the world, “It’s okay to not be okay!” But then I wonder, will people judge me for it? Will they see me as weak? Will they think I’m just looking for sympathy?

I’m caught between wanting to be honest about my struggles and needing to protect myself from the weight of others' expectations. It’s hard to know what’s too much or too little to share. It’s hard to know how to act in a world that’s still figuring out how to accept and understand mental health.

Is there even a right way to act?
I don’t have the answers. I don’t think anyone really does. But sometimes, I just wish it wasn’t so confusing to navigate. Maybe one day, it won’t feel so hard to just be myself—without worrying if I’m being too much or not enough. Until then, I guess I’ll keep trying to figure out how to act in a world that’s still learning how to see mental health through a compassionate lens.

Maybe we all could use a little more understanding and a little less judgment.